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Seth | 257 |
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Peter | 253 |
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James | 251 |
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Alan | 246 |
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Becky | 242 |
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Eve | 241 |
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Leigh | 240 |
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Danielle | 235 |
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We have a winner! - Posted 11/11/08
Americans!!! I type these few and humble words through a misty veil of tears. We live in wonderous times, my friends. The names of those who to us are familiar, will – in another age – be hewn in marble. Another season of Impress These Apes has come to a close, and a new name joins the role of champions. SETH DODSON has won Impress These Apes. A dream birthed in the hard-scrabble back roads of Texas hill-country comes true tonight for a man worthy to follow in the wake of legends - KRISTEN STUDDARD, JAMIE BUELL. Add to that SETH DODSON. DODSON wowed the audience this night with his heart and radiant charisma, showing a touching biographic video. It traced his roots from his humble childhood in Texas, through his meteoric rise to the comedy firmament. After the video, he treated us to something that has become his signature – a slick-production dance number. Also he claimed to be a fairy. Now, Pep Gibbons doesn’t usually go in for that kind of swords-and-magic fantasy stuff, but DODSON’s performance was so powerful; I wanted to believe in fairies. Heck, it almost made me want to be a fairy. Har!! Har!! This round of Impress These Apes will not soon be forgotten. So many golden moments this night. LEIGH VANDIVER left no dry eyes with her beautiful rendition of Cole Porter’s “Everytime We Say Goodbye”. It made this resurrected, zombie 1930s sports reporter get a tingle in his taint with it’s lilting melancholy. Spectacle was the word for DANIELLE PUTERBAUGH and PETER KREMIDAS. Both staged elaborate, freakish productions. PUTERBAUGH treated us to a circus sideshow, complete with trained animals and a two-headed girl. And speaking of freak shows, ALAN METOSKIE got tattooed on his back with the word: Impressed? Everyone was. KREMIDAS used his time on stage to woo his future wife with a song and dance number performed by Smurfs. BECKY ELDRIDGE and EVE PORCELLO danced away way with my heart tonight once again. ELDRIDGE sexed up the stage again with her classic bump and grind. PORCELLO paid tribute to the robotic industry with her phalanx of cybernetic dancers high-kicking the night away. The only sour note was from JAMES ASMUS who tried to turn the stage into her own personal soapbox for gay marriage. Bringing her “girlfriend” up and staging a sham marriage between two women!! Now, Pep believes everyone has a right to love who they want to, but there’s entertainment and politics, and tonight Ms. ASMUS crossed the line. Women! Ah well. The curtain falls. The lights fade. But the memories will endure. Congratulations SETH DODSON. You truly are the Least Pitiful Human. |
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Week 1: Stand Up Comedy |
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Week 2: Broadway Musical |
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Week 3: Historical Reenactment |
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Week 4: Live Band Karaoke |
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Week 5: Dance |
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Week 6: Commercial Break! |
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Week 7: Beauty Pageant |
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Week 8: IMPRESS THESE APES! |
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